Between enthusiasm and stars: living with reviews

Four years ago, we started our hotel adventure with no hospitality background. I came from international finance, an environment of negotiations, clear frameworks and little emotion at the table. In a hotel, things work differently. Here, almost everything is retail: expectations, experience, atmosphere and therefore disappointment. That took some getting used to.

That inexperience had disadvantages, but also one big advantage: open-mindedness. You don't yet run on autopilot and approach a lot from your own guest experience. A guest once laughingly said, “You are clearly still in the enthusiasm phase.” My response was, “True. And when it's over, we'll stop.” Without enthusiasm, hospitality becomes a trick. And tricks never last long.

The difference is in the moment things threaten to go wrong

From my years as a hotel guest, I took one conviction with me: you only really make a difference when something threatens to go wrong. In Istanbul, I once had to make last-minute dinner arrangements for a group of 20. Turned out I had booked the wrong venue. The reception at the hotel where I was staying more often said, “Come back at five o'clock, we'll sort it out.” And they did. Reservations, logistics, taxis, everything was ready. It turned into a successful evening, because someone else made my problem his problem.

Once in Amman, I suddenly needed medical attention. Within an hour, a doctor was in my room and medicines were collected. You don't forget such moments. Only when you are behind the counter yourself do you realise how decisive they are.

It happens to us too. You don't help a guest who has forgotten his medication with a smile alone. That involves thinking with them, arranging transport, making phone calls and, above all, pacing. Those are the moments that make you proud. Only they rarely end up in reviews. What does end up in reviews are details. And that is where the emotion starts.

The inevitable mismatch

As a hotelier, you aim for 100 per cent satisfaction. You invest in comfort, atmosphere, your team, your sleep. Yet you gradually discover that there always remains a small group of guests who are hard to get satisfied. Sometimes it's a mismatch in expectations. Sometimes character. Sometimes bad luck. Not every criticism says something about your quality. Sometimes it mostly says something about the difference between what someone hoped to find and what you actually are.

This does not mean that criticism is worthless. On the contrary. Some comments are gifts. Someone once pointed out to us that tables at breakfast were not cleared quickly enough. He was right. Since then, there has been an internal alarm bell on that point and things have improved structurally. You can translate concrete feedback into behaviour. You learn from it.

But there is also criticism that you can do little with, because it is so broad or emotional that you don't know what to do differently tomorrow. Then it feels like someone is going over your entire company with a paint roller. That mostly makes you defensive, and it doesn't benefit anyone.

Reviews are not a verdict, but a tool

Feedback used to come directly. At check-out, you heard what went well and what could be improved. You could ask through. Nowadays, much shifts to online. A review is public, final and often without context. Moreover, there is an asymmetry: guests review the hotel, but the hotel does not review the guest. The reader does not see what went on behind the scenes.

And yes, sometimes a review is used as a means of pressure. “My room was not satisfactory, I demand a discount, otherwise I will write a negative review.” I have taken one line on that: we are happy to solve real problems, but we do not allow ourselves to be blackmailed. Hospitality is not bending along until every boundary disappears. It is professionalism.

The tricky thing is that negative reviews linger. One unjust-feeling comment can colour your whole day, while 20 positive comments hardly come in. That is why I started to see reviews differently: not as a verdict, but as a tool.

When you respond to a negative review, you rarely respond for the writer. The latter usually doesn't come back. You respond for the silent followers, the potential guests who want to see who you are. A good response shows that you listen, that you know facts, that you resolve where necessary and that you have boundaries where you need to. That is reputation management in practice.

Staying warm, even when it chafes

Some hoteliers use humour to keep their distance. I understand that. Humour can put things into perspective. But it is also a sharp tool. If you make the guest smaller with it, you might win the moment but lose the brand. Humour only works if it stays warm. You can make the situation lighthearted, but not ridicule the person. The tone should always be: we take you seriously, even if we disagree with you.

When you look at reviews like this, they slowly turn from mood spoilers into tools. You extract areas for improvement from them and use your responses to show what kind of hotel you are. Hospitable, bright and professional.

In the end, that's what it's all about. Not that you never get criticised, but that you show how you deal with it. That's what the reader sees. And that reader books.