Jeannine Sok: Automatic language is not hospitality!

During a training session last week, the subject came up again. Fortunately, I had someone on my side who understood exactly what I meant. For years, the phrase “Have a nice day” has really got on my nerves. You might be wondering why? Well, I can be very brief about it. If it isn’t sincere, it feels like autopilot, and in my view, that’s the death knell for hospitality. Hospitality is about responding to the guest’s needs. You go with the flow and adapt your language. You’re, as it were, a chameleon without losing yourself. To me, authentic hospitality means boycotting set phrases!

“Why ‘Have a nice day’ isn’t a gesture of hospitality, but a reflex.”

“Have a lovely day” is not hospitality, because it is not a a conscious choice is. It is a reflex, a stock phrase that says nothing about the guest, says nothing about the situation and adds nothing to the experience. And in my view, that’s a missed opportunity. Good hospitality calls for genuine attention. Hospitality is a craft. A reflex is a routine. As far as I’m concerned, the two are diametrically opposed.

It’s a standard phrase taken out of context, which is a shame. After all, hospitality is precisely situational; you adapt it to the moment, the weather, the guest, the atmosphere, the time of day or the weekend. The phrase takes absolutely no account of the guest’s emotions, needs or circumstances.

A closing phrase like “Have a lovely day” shows absolutely no genuine attention. Lots of hospitality staff – and I imagine your colleagues too – use it to wrap up the conversation and the visit.  It’s like queuing at the checkout in a supermarket: the conversation’s over, the bill’s been paid, and it’s on to the next customer in the queue. In my view, it’s the opposite of genuine attention to you as a person.

The little word ‘still’… makes it sound rushed, as if you’re already on to the next guest. It can come across to the other person as: ‘Right, I’m done with you…!’ It also lacks any sense of personality. It’s universal. Everyone says it, everywhere and to everyone, and as far as I’m concerned, that makes it meaningless. It’s superficial and, in my view, lacks any warmth, depth in the interaction and professional expertise.

In a hotel setting, you want everything to be just right. After all, a hotel is all about the experience, comfort, tranquillity and personal attention. The language used in a hotel is all about refinement, not clichés.

A heartfelt ‘Goodbye!’

The first impression and the final farewell really make an impression on guests. “It’s the last thing you remember best” was one of my father’s favourite sayings. He would stand on the bridge waiting for campsite guests to leave the grounds, so that he could help them right up until the very last moment. He would give departing guests a signal so that they could cross safely. He would also literally wave them off. That was a lovely way to round off their stay and a good start to their journey. After all, it was a dangerous, blind junction where, even back then, cars were driving at ridiculously high speeds. You can, of course, stage this moment, as you know when guests are leaving.

The power of words

What can you say that really resonates with the guest? For example, a sincerely spoken “Have a safe journey, we look forward to seeing you next time.” “We had a lovely time last night!” or “See you tomorrow!”  with a cheeky wink, because you know they’ll be heading back to work. These phrases encourage repeat visits and remind them of a good time or a fond memory.

Back to the hotel – how lovely it is to make that final moment special and memorable. Something that suits your hotel, that’s achievable and unique. It doesn’t have to be grand; it’s the small gestures and actions that really stick in the memory. These days, you’re often given a bottle of water to take with you, but to me that’s almost the same as a simple ‘have a lovely day’. As soon as it becomes routine, the sincerity is lost. So opt for something surprising – it could be a little toy for the journey, a goody bag filled with tasty treats, or that fantastic scent the hotel fills the air with to create that lovely memory. In other words, something warmer, more personal and tailored to the situation during the guest’s stay at the hotel. Stop using formulaic language and make way for thoughtful language.  

Hospitality begins with genuine attention to others, and that starts with language – the spoken word.